Stick a finger in me I’m done: Dos and Don’ts of fingering

So many guys just use this to get the gates open but skip over as any type of actual pleasure giver.

You might not be a fan of foreplay, but

a) It will help us get in the mood

b) The sex will probably be better because we’ll be more up for it

c) If you do it right we’ll be so grateful you will probably get it back in kind

and the big D) WE NOTICED

You don’t care about me having a good time, maybe we don’t do anything again.

If this seems harsh, it’s not.

You might enjoy racing to the end but not everyone does and if it’s too quick, too rushed and with zero thought about whether I actually enjoyed it, then chances are you won’t get another go.

If you skip over it because you’re really not sure what’s going on down there, here’s a few dos and don’ts.

DON’T POKE: Honestly getting rough and jabby down there could put us out of action all night and if you don’t treat that area with some tenderness it doesn’t bode well for what you might do later on with the rest of your body.

DO TAKE YOUR TIME: Starting off slowly, gently means you’ve got some leeway to build up and building up momentum is what this is all about. It is also a more relaxed approached if you’re unsure of what you should be doing or self-conscious, rushing is the opposite of what she wants so take advantage of it. Add in a little teasing if you want, giving a little stroke in between kissing before you actually get down to it.

DON’T RUSH IN: Start by just stroking around the outside, the edge of the lips before venturing inside. Keep things light in terms of pressure and judge how quick you build up by wetness and response to touch.

DO FIND THE MAGIC SPOT: If you’re not sure how exactly then start off on the outside, as she gets more turned on everything will get a little – clearer? – the main thing to do is gently try to locate the clit. Navigate slowly up and down with your index and forefinger, trying not to force anything but, slowly getting deeper with every stroke.

DON’T IGNORE THE CLIT: Stimulation of the clit is most likely to give a girl an orgasm, so if you can make her cum even before having penetrative sex you are already winning. Foreplay isn’t just about getting her wet enough so your dick gets it. Whether it’s with your fingers, tongue or combination of both, give it some attention.

DO GO FOR THE ‘O’: Once you’ve found the clit – and ask to be put in the right direction if needed there’s no shame in it – you can get a bit more specific in where you’re touching.

Either go with a circular motion or flicking, or a mix of the two, whatever you find easier and they respond to. You can change the pressure and speed – which gives your hand a rest as well as – based on how they’re responding. The wetter and more turned on the harder you can afford to rub, but just remember it’s still a sensitive area.

DON’T FORGET THE REST OF THE BODY: The great thing about fingering is there’s another hand and your mouth free. Pinch and lick the nipples, run your tongue down their body, grab their butt and kiss their neck if you can reach.

If you think this sounds like a lot of work when you’re getting nothing back, then remember they’ll probably respond in kind for you and also the more turned on they are the better the sex will be (usually).

DO GET YOUR TONGUE INVOLVED: Just because officially you’re not going down on them doesn’t mean a few well-placed kisses and licks can’t be added in.

Kissing the outside of the lips gently while flicking the clit gives extra stimulation and makes you look a bit of a pro. Below the belly button is also really sensitive, so giving that some attention will earn you extra points.

Below the belly button is also really sensitive, so giving that some attention will earn you extra points.

DON’T COUNTDOWN: There’s no set time for fingering, so don’t watch the clock and assume you’ve been at it long enough it must be time to move on.

Scrap that attitude, if you’re both enjoying it there’s no reason you can’t spend a while on fingering before going to the main event, it gets the girl totally up for it and more likely for her to actually orgasm, which should be at least one of your aims for the night.

DISCLAIMER: This isn’t a magic how-to for getting every girl off, just what would work for me.

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